Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My cat gives me a boner
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
