D3 body, D1 cock
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
