at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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