Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have aggressive nipples.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
