Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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