Where is the hickey?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
