...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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