I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
