I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
