my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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