He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize