I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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