My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
