Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
