you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize