I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
