I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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