My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
BRING THE BAGELS
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
