Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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