Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
