I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
