yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if i can run in heels then i can drive
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
