do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
