let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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