so that wasnt chicken after all
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
