i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
