Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What drink are we having for lunch?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
