Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
