Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...