There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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