Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

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  (925): "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God. http://tfl.nu/18zl
  Replies (23) Good night (1574) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me

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  (620): Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me http://tfl.nu/fd2j
  Replies (18) Good night (861) Bad night (2768)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.

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  (+64): Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys. http://tfl.nu/k7wg
  Replies (127) Good night (3335) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.

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  (413): Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang. http://tfl.nu/dwae
  Replies (15) Good night (854) Bad night (5597)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.

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  (+44): He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester. http://tfl.nu/ggyj
  Replies (39) Good night (3041) Bad night (5247)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?

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  (479): Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace? http://tfl.nu/xfzk
  Replies (2) Good night (1503) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.

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  (605): If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again. http://tfl.nu/3u7r
  Replies (4) Good night (2142) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.

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  (419): Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli. http://tfl.nu/0eu4
  Replies (8) Good night (1137) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.

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  (608): Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli. http://tfl.nu/5kl3
  Replies (1) Good night (1767) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  My booty call just moved 2 min from my house

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  This has pregnancy written all over it

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  (513): My booty call just moved 2 min from my house (1-513): This has pregnancy written all over it http://tfl.nu/2h6m
  Replies (1) Good night (1671) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome

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  (814): Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome http://tfl.nu/l5b3
  Replies (1) Good night (731) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.

  (817): View more from Texas

  Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".

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  (817): Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender. (817): Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii". http://tfl.nu/6w6n
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover

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  (608): I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover http://tfl.nu/qezu
  Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??

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  (716): Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again?? http://tfl.nu/md65
  Replies (4) Good night (390) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.

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  (610): In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game. http://tfl.nu/bv7v
  Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (361)

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