I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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