You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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