You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
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Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
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If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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