Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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