Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
