You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
