We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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