i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
