Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
