he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
