Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
