I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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