super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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