I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize