Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
