That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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