This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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