they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
