I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
