so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My life is pants optional.
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