Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
