So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
