I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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