I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Pants are for mortals
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
