fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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