Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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