You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
