im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
