Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize