i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
