New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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