Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
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dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
and you fell through a lawn chair
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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