Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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