He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
